Secret to a great marriage

We are often asked this question, “What do you think is the secret to your great marriage?”

I like to answer like this: “Well I’m not sure I can put it down to one thing, but I think it has something to do with our regular date nights. Each week we commit to a regular date night: I go Wednesday nights and Andy goes Thursdays!”  Haha just kidding obviously 🙂

Actually there are all kinds of things that help make for a great marriage but there is one essential ingredient.

Yes it really helps to learn how to share your lives, to communicate well – that is key.

And yes it helps to learn some really good conflict resolution skills for when you disagree and hurt one another.

And yes it helps to maintain your friendship by finding something recreationally that you both enjoy doing together. That would really help build a great marriage.

And if you both were soul-mates – you know, shared a deep spiritual foundation, that gave purpose and meaning to your relationship – that would certainly make a huge difference.

And while all these are important aspects to build a great marriage they are not what I’m referring to.

What I’m referring to is you.  You are key to your own great marriage.

You see, while you may have all the skills, and while life may try and knock you off course with trials, and sickness, and money issues, you are the key to your own successful marriage.

You are the only one who can decide “I want to have a great marriage”.  You are the only one who can have a God sized vision for your marriage and go after it with commitment and determination. The strength comes from the inside not the outside; You see it’s not necessarily something “out there” where you need to be looking. But looking inside yourself and asking God’s spirit for His vision, the determination to make it happen and the resolve to see it through.

Does it sound too simplistic?  Maybe.  But try it out this week.  Imagine an area in your relationship you’d like to improve. Let’s say you’d like to experience more fondness and affection.  First envision it. Then ask your spouse, “would you like to experience more fondness and affection in our marriage?” Now, who’s going to say no to that?  You’re already more than half way there.  Now the rest is up to you.

Make it happen. You are key to a great marriage and you’ll have God on your side with a goal like that.


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